Tuesday, January 28, 2014

This I Used to Believe Essay

Nicole Tucker
Bonnie Moore
English 2010
28 January 2014
Secret Battle

            They say the eyes are the window to the soul.  Who ‘they’ are, I’m not entirely sure.  But whoever they are, I must say I agree with them because a single glance at a soul through one pair of eyes can flip the entire world upside down.  Well, at least for me it did.
            It was a cold evening in November; the kind of cold that late autumn holds over your head and threatens much worse—winter was soon on its way.  It had been an ordinary afternoon for me, a pleasant one actually.  I’d spent it reflecting on my life as a senior at Pleasant Grove High School.  I was at a high point on the roller coaster we call life; consciously realizing how grateful I was to be enjoying the clubs and extra-curricular activities I was involved with and the amazing people that surrounded me.  My days passed with ignorant bliss.  I saw a bright future ahead of me, writing all of my adolescent highlights and successes into college applications.  I felt hopeful and positive about what I had in store.   The sun shined brightly in my eyes, filling every day with smiles and laughter—it was all that I noticed.
            While driving home, thoughts of content filled my head; so did the melody of my current favorite song (probably Taylor Swift or Justin Bieber Christmas or something like that.) My fingers tapped to the beat on my 2008 white Hyundai Elantra steering wheel.  My favorite part about my car—the only concern I had when it came to vehicle preference actually—was the fact that I could plug my iPod into the sound system and browse my whole music library without breaking a sweat.  Driving and jammin’ was one of my ultimate favorite pastimes.  I pulled into the garage of my house and pushed the shifter into to park.  I smiled from my good day before walking into the most confusing scene happening in my kitchen.
            My mom stood with her arms crossed and head tilted down in the way it is when she’s upset, my dad’s demanding voice filled the tense air, my littlest sister’s eyes were red from crying and her fingers were in her mouth—she bites her nails when she gets worried, and a lady, whose identity was unknown to me, stood her footing in an intense conversation with my parents.  She was saying bizarre things and my dad was responding with fierceness.  Amidst all the commotion, I stood there puzzled and I could not put all the pieces together.
            “Where is she now?” my dad questioned.  I began to process what exactly was going on.  Since my middle sister was the only one missing from the scene I figured he was referring to her.  I don’t even remember the lady’s response but there was concern and warning in her voice.  I mentally left the conversation trying to make sense of it all.  They conversed some more and it only triggered more bewilderment.  Begging questions swarmed my mind.  They were left to be unanswered because before much more was said, the conversation was over and my parents were on their way out the door.
            The only information I got were three words from my mom, uttered behind my ear as she left.
            “She’s a cutter.”
            The words sent shock straight through my bones, down to my toes and back before they finally smacked my brain with a harsh realization of what they meant.  It almost didn’t seem real.  How could that be true about my sister?  I lived in the room next to her and I had no idea.  My littlest sister and I were left alone, waiting in our kitchen to see what would happen next.  She trembled.  Being only twelve years old, she didn’t understand most of the spoken words of the previous scene, but she could feel of their urgency.  I knew I had to be strong; I had to put on a brave face for her.  Though it felt like a mask only hiding the fear.  Because if I didn’t, who would?  Not knowing what was going to happen next; not knowing what tomorrow might be like for my family
After anxiety had almost eaten me away, the garage door burst open.  My parents walked in and my missing sister followed, her head hanging, her long unkempt hair chocking the majority of her face.  When I first saw her, my mind flashed back to everything the word sister meant for us.  We were exactly two years, two weeks, and one day apart in age.  Sometimes we fought over which weekend to have whose birthday party on.  To be honest, most of the time we fought about a lot of things.  Who could sit in the passenger seat of the car, who could use the straightener, and the classic “get out of the bathroom, you’re taking too long!”  We clashed because of our stark differences.  Our genetic make-up lies on different ends of the personality spectrum.  I’m organized and strong willed.  She’s easy going and a people pleaser.  On the color personality test I’m a red, she’s a blue.  Every opinion I had, she believed the exact opposite.  So for a majority of the time, we disagreed at great lengths.
            I ran and embraced her.
            “I love you.  Don’t ever forget that.”
            She didn’t hug back.  She didn’t even look at me.  I pressed her chin up so our faces were parallel.  That was the moment I saw her eyes.  They were clouded over and dark—the deepest abysses of sorrow and grief I had ever peered into.  She used to be the girl of quirky sayings and inside jokes.  She used to be the piano keys condensing under warm fingers, creating a beautiful melody.  She used to be the sister who always brought us laughter so strong, we couldn’t help but cry.  Now, all of that was left behind, dumped off at some unknown location and replaced with nothing but cold, emptiness, and a lot of black.  She wore nothing but black—even her fingernails were coated with the dark color.  Her eyes reflected the state of her soul: shattered, hopeless.  They moved blankly, swollen with tears that streaked her sunken cheeks.  They saw me but they didn’t look at me.
            “Look me in the eyes.” I repeated myself, “I love you.  Don’t ever forget that.”
            My family spent the next two hours sitting around our mahogany kitchen table discussing the issues that would be present for the next couple months.
            “I can’t comprehend it.”  I resounded in a conversation with my mother a week later, “how can someone be so unmotivated and negative about everything?  I mean why sit there and feel sorry for yourself?  Why not do something about it and at least try to help yourself a little bit?”
            My mom answered, “Well, depression is an interesting state of mind.  Someone affected by it can’t really even begin to think that way.”
            “Yeah, but even if you don’t feel okay now can’t you least find some relief in knowing that there’s hope for the future?”  I said.  It was mind-boggling—a low state of melancholia had never occurred to me.  I’d always been so driven in achieving my dreams and so dead-set on what I wanted in life—especially at the pivotal moment of graduation fast approaching.  My hopeful thoughts made so much sense to me and I couldn’t see how anyone could think otherwise.
            “It’s hard to see it that way when just getting out of bed in the morning is a great accomplishment,” my mom’s outside wisdom replied.

            I continued to ponder on the subject matter and it affected me greatly.  It’s possible that my sister was good at hiding her depression, but maybe I just didn’t pay attention to the signs.  We lived in neighboring bedrooms; we shared the same bathroom.  But her silent suffering never occurred to me because I lived in my own busy, blissful world.  This view changed the night we found out about her.  My outlook on other people was altered and I came to an understanding of the reality outside of myself.  Every person has a life just like mine: worries, trials, hopes, and dreams.  It’s interesting to stand in a crowded place and see people as stories that have created their life.  What brought them to this point?  Where are they going from here?  I never really knew what was going on in the mind of my sister when I brushed passed her on my way to brush my teeth in the morning.  I what I say or do can have a greater impact that I could ever possibly know.  Just like the ancient philosopher Plato, said: “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”  While acknowledging my sister’s secret battle, I realized how fragile people are.  It brought me out of my own world and lead me to be more sensitive to my surroundings.  It caused me to apprehend the value of treating others with genuine sympathy and having a compassionate heart to everyone I come across—loved ones and strangers a like.  I stepped outside of myself, into a place where other people’s lives matter just as much as mine does and that’s a place I’ll never be able to leave.

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